FRIENDSHIP

Hi, I am a 44 year old wife and mother of three, one of my children has just turned eighteen and made me feel old. My passion is writing, it’s all I can remember doing, apart from reading that is. I belong to a writers group in the Snoqualmie area and have learnt a lot from having joined.

I have also spent most of my adult hood studying. I study anything from Phycology, creative writing, short stories, English, History, math, you name it I have probably studied something to do with a particular subject.

I moved to America from England eight years ago with a young family in tow. Set out for an adventure, and boy what an adventure it turned out to be, I had no idea. And now at last I feel settled, and have made some great friends.

Like I said earlier, I am part of a local writers group who meet up twice a week, I have now extended to that by adding an extra day that I will run myself. Hoping for more writers to come along and share their work.

I am recovering from a second back surgery at the moment, but once I am fully recovered I will be volunteering at the senior center in North Bend, I would like to become a real part of the community here.

That’s about all there is, hope someone out there enjoys my blog. It’s all about friendship. The theme of the novel I am writing at the moment is friendship, something that is deeply important to me. I hope someone likes my blog, I would love to hear what you have to say. Let me know.

 

WOW, thank you everyone that replied to my blog, some of you via the blog and others on facebook. I can’t thank you enough for your positive responses. I have typed up another few pages of Pipe Dream for you to read, please let me know what you think. You can always criticize as well.

A number of the responses I had talked about friendship, one in particular stood out to me. This lady has gone through a lot and has, like myself, stepped back from some friendships to take a long hard look at them. Sometimes I find this is important. Stopping, taking hold of what’s in front of you. Friendships can be very confusing at times, you think you are in a particular space when in fact you are in another space completely.

September 30th last year I was arrested and thrown in jail. I was addicted to a narcotic and had gone loopy. I became addicted to these narcotics through a fall in the shower and breaking my back. Anyway, I was only in jail for 24 hours, but it gave me a lot of time to think. (There is a lot more to that story, and I will come back to it another time)

So it’s a normal day, I walk my youngest to the bus stop for school and I’m standing there with a few neighbors I know but we aren’t friends. One of them asks me how I had managed to loose so much weight. So I told them it was the addiction to Oxycodone that had done it. Everyone was very good, but what surprised me the most was one particular dad. As we were walking back from the bus stop we stopped outside his house and he said to me how amazed he was that I had come out and told the truth like that. That so many people who live on this estate like to pretend that everything is amazing in their lives when it is not. He told me that whatever happened he had my back, and he wasn’t joking. Since then him and his wife have been there for me and my family every step of the way and I can’t thank them enough. People who I had lived near to for seven years, who I had only ever spoken to at parties became the most amazing friends.

Friends can come out of nowhere when you are least expecting them. Friendship is a powerful thing and I am very grateful to all of my friends.

Since that day I have also found that not everyone is who they seemed to be. And on finding this out how painful that experience was, but I will leave that for another time.

And thanks again for your responses I really appreciate them. It would be really great if you could follow me on my blog instead of doing it through facebook, because when I put my book into a publishers they will ask me about blogging the more followers I have the more chance of being published. Thanks guys, and have a great day.

Sarah

 

 

I was contemplating what to write for my blog and then thought that maybe I was putting too much into it. There are many things to discuss when it comes to friendship and as I’ve told you, I have a real reason to be thankful for my friendships. Then I decided to talk about those who call themselves friends, but in fact are quite the opposite. Usually only there for the drama and then they disappear. I’m sure many of you have experienced this. While my family and I were going through a huge amount of trauma, for those of you who don’t know I became addicted to oxycodone through breaking my back, this led to all kinds of issues, and the in 2013 I was arrested and thrown it jail because of it, and the police over here are very different to the English police.

When this happened we were shown a massive amount of support, except from certain people I really thought would be there for me. I was stunned at what these people were doing, and devastated that I had judged them so wrongly. They weren’t friends at all, they just wanted to be around when things were exciting. Then I find out that one of these people is actually trying to stir up more trouble for us. Believing that a particular person was my friend I told them something I made clear was not to be repeated, only to find out that this person did repeat it and then tried to get the person she was telling to report me to CPS, Children’s protective services. Fortunately for us It wouldn’t have mattered because they were already involved and had no intention of taking our kids away from us.

This taught me that even though you have known someone for a long time, trusted them, they are not what they seem. I couldn’t believe how upset I was. Through the years I have made a lot of friends, some of them have moved, or we have drifted apart, others have died and some are in our lives for a scant amount of time, but I have never come across anyone that has tried to make my life more difficult, I was stunned.

The funny thing is, since having pulled away from these people my life has become more full. I have a lot more friends now and I am always active, I refuse to judge a new person in my life, take them as they are and if they hurt me along the way, then so be it.

Has this happened to you? let me know because I would love to hear what you have to say.

Thanks for reading my blog.

Sarah

 

Good morning to all who are reading this is America, and good evening for those of you in England. Today I am going to get on my soap box about friendship, after all this is what my blog is about. So last night I was thinking about what to write for todays blog and decided to look the word up in my dictionary.

The definition of friends – A person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically one exclusive of sexual or family relations.

The one word in this definition that popped out was the word MUTUAL. Mutual affection, respect, listening to each other. Equal in all ways. Giving and taking the same, and being there for your friend when they need you and not just when it is convenient to you.

I don’t know about other groups of friends, but with my girlfriends we have a ‘GIRL CODE’. That means that you have an unspoken agreement. You do not go and tell other people what you have been told. You certainly don’t go and tell the persons partner what they have just told you. You know how to keep a secret that is. So unless what you’ve told a friend is putting you in some kind of danger, you shut the fuck up and don’t repeat anything. This makes me so bloody angry, I don’t know about you guys but I was bought up to keep my mouth shut, and you certainly don’t rat people out.

Why is it that some people think it’s okay to blab all over town about what you’ve just told them? Really? Who died and made you so dam special? What would you do if you found out that a friend of yours you had shared something with has repeated it? Do you go up to them and have it out? Personally I just stop the friendship and write about all the things I would say or do to that person if I had the chance. That’s the great thing about writing, you can do or say anything (because it’s fiction) and not be arrested for it. That so called friend who did you wrong has been marched out of town followed by a band of people holding torches and shouting at them. BLAH BLAH BLAH. Now I am rambling, but sometimes it’s good to ramble.

How do you feel about “CODES” do you have unspoken rules in your friendships? How important is this to you? How do you feel about gossiping? Personally I love to gossip, as long as that gossiping doesn’t turn into something nasty or just plain lying. Maybe a subject for another day.

Have a good one

SARAH

Over the weekend I was thinking about what to write in my Monday blog and came up with age. Does it matter how different in age you are to another person when it comes to friendship.

A friend of mine once asked me how I could be friends with a woman who was seventy years old, she thought you should only be friends with people your own age. I told her that if that was the case I would have very few friends as many of my friends were very different in age to me.

She asked me what on earth we could have in common, what did we talk about? Feeling confused I told her we talked about what the two of us did. We would talk about our relationships, what we had done that week, just usual, sometimes mundane topics, it didn’t matter. However, she still didn’t understand and I wasn’t prepared to go into any more detail thinking that it didn’t need it. I could be friends with who I chose regardless of age difference.

That I decided was the topic for Monday. How do you feel about age differences between friends? Does it matter to you? Let me know and have a great day.

SARAH

 

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